Q & A: Kingdom Hearts Version
by Ryuk The Black Moon Of Shadows
Summary: If you like Humor, look no farther. Ask Any KH character your questions and all the other nice stuff. Crossovers will happen periodically. Constructive critics welcome. Please Read & Review
1. Chapter 1: Insanity begins

Hello everyone, my friends and i have want to say how happy we are to have you all reading this.

I wish we could but there are something's we need to sort out first.

1. There are three main authors. Ryuk, Blackmoon, and Myself, Shadow.

2. this story will be updated on our convienience.

3. If you don't like it, too bad.

Now that that's done, we have decided to present a little introduction.

All KH Chars: why are we in this giant warehouse.

Shadow: Because my friends and i said so.

Riku: Why should we listen to you?

Shadow: That's perfectly simple my silver haired friend, My accomplices and I could always throw you into the Fan girl or the Fan boy pit. But I must warn you, their quite vicious.

Riku: I gonna shut up now before thing get out of control.

Shadow: I knew you'd see it my way. Now, does anyone else have any questions

All: (Shake heads in agreement)

crash glass shattering black moon fall down onto his face

Black moon: .That hurt, those fan girls are crazy…….. faints

Almighty Death God: Wait. I keep missing something, rewind that.

Ryuk: ok. Pause…… rewind…….. Continue

All KH Chars: why are we in this giant warehouse.

Ryuk/Shadow: Because we said so.

Riku: Why should we listen to you?

Shadow: That's perfectly simple my silver haired friend, My accomplices and I could always throw you into the Fan girl or the Fan boy pit. But I must warn you, their quite vicious.

Riku: I gonna shut up now before thing get out of control.

Shadow: I knew you'd see it my way. Now, does anyone else have any questions

All: (Shake heads in agreement)

crash glass shattering black moon fall down onto his face

Black moon: .That hurt, those fan girls are crazy…….. faints

Ryuk: wait, if there are fan girls in the pit, then why was he being chased by fan girls.

Shadow: It's a very long story.

Ryuk: whatever. anyways, ahhh, I love the smell of pain in the morning.

Sora: But it's 3:30 in the afternoon!

Shadow: SILENCE YOU FOOL! Ryuk, do wanna do the honors?

Ryuk: With pleasure. THIS….IS……SPARTA!! Kicks Sora into the Fan Girl pit.

Sora: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Fan Girls: YAAAAAAAYYY!!

( Silence )

Now That the intro is outta the way, send in those reviews everyone.

Ryuk: Déjà vu. My head hurts.


	2. Chapter 2: Pain And Suffering: BOOYA

_Hello everyone, just to let you know, We don't own kingdom hearts or any other reference we use, only the ideas for this story._

Shadow, Ryuk, Riku, Sora and Roxas playing Blackjack, Black Moon fighting Leon

Everyone else talking or just chillin.

Card Game Ryuk: 20 Riku: 16 Sora: 22 Roxas: 23 Shadow: 21

Ryuk: Bastard.  
Shadow: whatever.  
Other 3: Cheater! All 3 Point fingers at shadow

Shadow: Whatever, we have reviews anyway. And F y'all Kicks up table and it hits Riku and Breaks in half over his head and pieces hit Sora and Roxas. Riku/Sora/Roxas: Son of a B!

Well now, from Aitheheartlessgirl.

**Author: Why on a warehouse??Sora: lol! Did you know that you have your own theme?Roxas: Your name is one of the most common Filipino names but it's pronounced Ro-has not Ro-ksas...Riku: Shadow is right, the Fan girl pit is quite vicious!**

Shadow: Well for our first reviewer, Here is a pendant which you can use to bring someone from the KH universe three times during the story to your location until the end of the chapter of one of your reviews. About our Question, we thought that a warehouse was a great secluded place to not get into trouble with the Feds for our torture, you know what i'm saying.

Sora: Awesome. starts listening to theme Yeah!

Kairi: HELLO!! What is your problem, you just bring us here and now you w…….

stabbed by shadow and ryuk with cloud and roxas's really spikey hair

Ryuk/Shadow: THANK GOD THAT'S OVER!!

Roxas: you know, I didn't know that.

Riku: Ai, I completely agree with you on that one. shudders

Well, our next review is from Jackattack555.

**laughs like a maniac) This is going to be fun!Sora: How did you get such big feet?Xemnas: Why did you stick with that name after you learned that the letters of that name could be rearranged to form...you know...Kairi: Why couldn't you be more than just a plot device? Are you that much of an idiot?Roxas: Are you still at Diz for keeping you separate from Namine? Get your revenge on him!Shadow, Black Moon: Those fan girls you guys are handling are dangerous creatures! You must appease them, so throw all the KH bishies to them! This includes Cloud, Riku, Leon, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Sora, etc. (My fan girl girlfriend has turned away for a second. She had a shotgun to my back when I was typing that bishie part. Don't do it!) DO IT! What will you choose?Ryuk: Now my girlfriend's left the room. Phew! One last thing I want done...To cause some real chaos, give all of the KH characters Death Notes! Bwahahahahah!**

Sora: Will everyone QUIT WITH THE BIG FEET THING ALREADY!!

COME ON, it's not my fault, it's Square's fault, so if you have a problem, deal with them, not me!?

Shadow: For the Question you asked Kairi, the answer is simple. Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..

Stabs Kairi with Riku's Keyblade while disguised as Riku.

Sora: NOOOOOOOO!! Riku, how could you?

Real Riku: What do you mean Sora?? gets Attacked by Sora Fight to the death

Riku stands victorious Sora has swirly eyes

Shadow: O…..KAYYYYY. Roxas, your up.

Roxas: Yeah I am but I got revenge by, wait. hang on, Axel recorded it. Shadow, do you have a VCR?

Shadow: of course. Give me the Tape. Okay, Put the red cable in…….. Damnit, I haven't hooked this damn thing up in five years!

Ryuk: While he gets the tape ready. Well, to the question you asked us, Oh hey Shadow.

Shadow: Hi Ryuk, while black moon handles the video setup, here are the people we chose.

Ryuk: Wait, is that a good idea?

I don't really care.

Picks by Shadow: _Saix, Sora._

Picks by Ryuk:_ Leon, Riku._

Picks by Black Moon: _Sorry, but Axel and Roxas are too important, but here's_

_Mansex and Emo boy Zexion._

Shadow: Alright, Friend of Jackattack555, We gave you some people but they leave when they're asked questions and then their trip to Hell.. I Mean, the " Nice fan girls domain" unfortunately ends. And they all come back at the end of the chapter regardless.

Ryuk: to make things more interesting, the people I've chosen are Cloud, Sora( but can't use it on Riku), Kairi, and Leon.

Shadow: And about the Fan girls, the other way we keep them from attacking are the weapons we have amassed such as Grenades, Shotguns, Rifles, Machine guns, RPGs, Thermonuclear warheads, and plenty of other fun toys.

Shadow: I can already tell, looks like this is gonna be one hell of a party!

Kairi: But…..SPALT stabbed by Ryuk with Lightsaber.

Shadow: I also forgot to mention that the Republic has sent 10,000,000 clones and plenty of other weapons. One more thing. WHY WON'T SHE DIE ALREADY!!

Ryuk: Anyway, ah, the video is ready, hit it Black Moon.

Blackmoon: covered in grease and cords Okay. hits play

_**Ansem the wise: **__**ahhh, what a nice day it is.**_

_**Roxas: Hyyyyaaaaaa! kicks Ansem off 50 story balcony**_

_**Ansem: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!**_

_**Axel: Great job, Roxas.**_

_**Axel/Roxas: hahahahahahahahahahaha!!**_

Ryuk: ahhh, that is quite the revenge.

Door flies open Ansem the wise appears

Ansem: Roxas!!

Roxas: Ughhhhhhh…..Hi

Ansem: kicks Roxas into Fan girl pit.

Roxas: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Fan girls: AHHHHHHHHH! ROXY!!

(Silence)

Shadow: sorry dude, I have to be fair to everyone. He he he.

Oh yeah, UP, UP AND AWAY!! throws Kairi into orbit and hit's a meteor.

Anyways, and the final reviewer today is Crazy Stalker Chick.

Shadow: thinking ( That's one way to scare people )

**OH!Heya, Riku? Can I take you home? LOL...but seriously, that's one of my questions.Okay, like, if it's everybody...Zexion: Do you lurve Demyx? And can I ship you off to my best friend littlegirl-chan? PUH-LEAZE? Sora: Does waking up and seeing Goofy's face at night scare you? I mean really, with shadows and stuff? XDRiku: Can I take you home? And yeah. There are my questions... for now... BTW, love your intro... THIS IS SPARTA! Love!**

Ryuk: Let Zexion answer his question then sure, go nuts. gives Riku

Shadow: and remember, I need them next chapter, ok.

Riku: WHYYYYYYY!

Shadow: Quit cryin, ya big baby!

Zexion: I. Hate. DEMYX!!

Shadow: gives Zexion and Demyx

There's something extra.

Sora: No.

Shadow: Yeah right, Ryuk, you still got that tape??

Ryuk: of course. puts tape in and plays.

_**Sora: Snoring**_

_**Goofy: also snoring**_

_**Sora: suddenly wakes up I can't sleep. looks toward goofy**_

_**HEARTLESS!! Runs away, Far away.**_

_**Shadow/Ryuk: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**_

Video stops playing

Everyone: Laughing at Sora

Riku: from crazy stalker chicks house No way. thats, That's really lame man. starts laughing

Shadow: Ok, Lets see, we rocked, we laughed, We TRIED to kill Kairi, and, we watched really funny stuff.

Ryuk: keep up the reviews and more events like this are likely to happen.

Shadow: THIS. IS. SPARTA!! Kicks Axel into fan girl pit.

Axel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Fan Girls: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(SILENCE)

Shadow: Poser, me and Ryuk are the only pyros around here. And please review. PLEASE, i'm begging you! Just kidding. But seriously, REVIEW.


	3. Chapter 3: Very Mad Now People

Hello everyone, remember, i only own the warehouse and the story, so everyone else belongs in there own place ok, and if you don't like it, too bad.

Shadow: turns on computer

Robin Williams: …….._Not straight, I put S in the way, like trees and bushes and high grass, so you can lose your Fing Ball and go whacking away with a Fing tire iron, whacking away and each time you miss you feel like your gonna have a stroke, f , that's what we'll call it, a stroke because each time you miss you feel like your Fing die, Only do this one time? F no! 18 Fing times._

Shadow: turns off computer

Shadow: I likes that guy. He funny. And Dane cook. Also funny. And cannot forget Demetri Martin

Sora: Dunna nunna nunna nunna nunna nunna nunna nunna, Spider Man, Spider Man.

Ryuk: SHUT THE F UP YOU NO GOOD EXCUSE FOR A PROTAGONIST!!

Attempts to kill Sora but shadow holds him back

Shadow: whoa whoa whoa. Wait until the end of the chapter, please.

Ryuk: whatever.

Shadow: Here, I'll let you read the first one.

Ryuk: Jackpot.

This is from Shadowbrawler20. I like this one.

**Axel/Roxas: what do you think of Akuroku, because I personally don't care for it.Kairi: DIE! slits her throat and burns her with flamethrowerAhh, another job well done.Sora: if you could choose a keyblade what would it be. The following keyblades are not a choice( Final mix 1 and 2 exclusives, Oathkeeper, Oblivion, and the Ultima weapons.Riku: if you want a real fight, how about fighting me Pulls out Final mix exclusive keyblade, One winged angel Prepare yourself, loser.Xemnas: Why do your Aerial blades look like lightsabers. Darth Vader will kill you. and your not even that strong. Xaldin and Xigbar were hard, they were the nobodies that i couldn't beat in one try. you, on the other hand, were wicked easy. Even the Black knight from Monty python and the holy grail and could kick your A.Cloud: MINE! steals clouds swordLeon: Prepare to feel extreme pain! kicks Leon in the Important area.And for help from the Fangirls, here is Dante from devil may cry, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, Ichigo Kurosaki, rukia kuchiki, Soul Society, Uryuu, Chad, Zero and the black knights from code geass and the heros from the resident evil series.WOW, long review, I can't wait for the fireworks to really start going.From, Shadowbrawler20.P.S: you stole my cookies! Spinning kicks Xemnas into Fangirls pit. P.P.S. Riku, if you manage to beat me, I will get you out of there. I promise.Btw, why do your torture them so, thats my Forte'. LOL**

Shadow: first off, BOOYA!!

Don't worry Mr. brawler, they too will have a little bit of involvement

Shadow: every body cover your ears, this is gonna be loud.

Axel/Roxas: WE ARE NOT GAY, SO F AKUROKU!

Fan Girls: YAOI!!

Shadow: to Fangirls, would you be kind enough to SHUT THE F UP YOU BUNCH OF GOOD FOR NOTHIN YAOI LOVERS. Throws incendiary grenade into fan girl pit

Shadow: i didn't know that they would be so annoying when i paid for the pits, i'm also not getting the deposits back, this sucks. shoots at the Gullwings for fun

Blackmoon: Better

Shadow: a little.

Sora: I'd have to choose the Fenrir. But my absolute favorite is the Second Ultima Weapon.

Riku: Ok, your on.

( _five minutes later_ )

Riku: swirly eyes

Xemnas: They are lightsabers and I like them. Darth Vader walks in and force chokes Xemnas

Ryuk: thanks Darth.

Vader: Anytime.

Xemnas: gets back up I am the black knight!

Shadow: Michael Jackson!! cuts off Xem/Black knights arms and legs

Xemnas: PAIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN!!

shadowbrawler20 kicks Xemnas into Fangirl pit

FangirL 1: Wait, he has no limbs. FangirL 2: Oh well, lets have some fun anyway.

Fangirls and Fanboys hitting Xemnas over sides of pits like a volley ball.

Xemnas: AHHHHH!! OWWW! AHHHHHHH! OWWWW!

Shadow: he's gonna be a while.

Cloud: WHAT THE F, MAN. that was my favorite

Leon: doubled over in pain.

Ryuk/Shadow/BlackMoon: we torture them because we want to.

And here is a present. gives Giant cookie

Sora: Man, I am so outta here.

Shadow: Hyyyyaaaaaaaaaa! throws metal pipe at Sora which his him in the head he flies into Fangirl pit.

Sora: Noooo! I'm straight.

Ryuk: No mercy, B

Shadow: next it's from, CrazySnakeLover, Another person that's funny, **Your stories fine, and you have your own style of humor that I like, let me see questions.first let me mention, Sora I don't think that you have big feet, you just wear clown shoes.a question for Zexion and Lexaeus, why are you too so close, were you somebodies friends.Yuffie, are you really hipped up on sugar like in all the fanfics on this site.well thats all I can think of now.**

Shadow: First off, Yeaaa!

Sora: Finally someone who doesn't ask why I have such big feet, and I only wear these shoes because they are better than going barefoot on the hot sand.

Shadow: Riiiiiiiiiiight, Ok, next question.

Zexion: we were good friends, we always used to work together on experiments, he was the scientist, and I was the advisor.

Yuffie: ILIKESUGAR, I'MALWAYS VERYVERYVERYVERYVERYVERYVERYHYPERANDSUGARISVERYVERYTASTYYUUUUUUUUUMMMM!! starts bouncing off the walls

Shadow: Duck and Cover!!

Blackmoon: wakes up from sleeping Huh? AHHHHHHH WHAMMM! Blackmoon gets hit by Yuffie.

Ryuk: ahhh, I love it, more pain and suffering.

BOOOOOOOMMMM! door explodes and swat teams swarm in

SWAT commander: Shadow, you, Ryuk, And Blackmoon are under arrest for the torture of Kingdom hearts characters and Weapons charges.

Shadow: awww, come on guys, I paid a lot of money to rent this place and I won't be able to get my deposit back on this and I'm pissed, so who's gonna pay for it!!

SWAT Teams: you will!! SWAT starts firing

Shadow/Ryuk/BlackMoon: Start Firing Back

( 5 minutes later )

SWAT Commander: watch your fire, you almost shot innocent civilians.

Shadow: FREEZE!! all clones loaned from republic and everyone else mentioned by shadowbrawler20 that were given to us pointing assorted weapons at the SWAT.

SWAT Commander: are you gonna kill us.

Ryuk: No, on one condition.

SWAT Commander: which is?

Shadow: Leave now and don't bug us again.

SWAT Commander: OK, you win, but I'll have my eye on you.

Shadow: AND one more thing.

SWAT Commander: which is??

Shadow: FIX MY DAMN DOOR, I DON"T HAVE THE MONEY TO FIX IT RIGHT NOW.

( 10 minutes later )

SWAT Commander: Alright, it's fixed, can we go now?

Shadow: gladly, gentlemen.

And I encourage everyone to check out Insomnia Powered Forum, it's a great place, and the Admin. Dadashi Hatake is a good person.

Ryuk: in light of that Minor intrusion, we are still okay

Fangirls start climbing out of the pit

Shadow: you just HAD to say that, didn't you!

fighting in back ground

Shadow: Sorry about the interruption but we need to go keep sending in those reviews and……HYAA! kicks Fangirl Back into pit Keep reading and Reviewing and………

SIGNAL LOST...

Ryuk: ohh yeah, one more detail, kills sora with kairi

Sora: bloody stain on floor

Ryuk: YAYYYYY VIOLENCE, but don't try this at home kids.


	4. Chapter 4: Insanity can't explain it

_Well everyone, I have noticed that you can't understand some elements of this story, so if you can't, please at least explain, I'm a new writer and explanations are helpful ok? also, i don't own the characters mentioned, if i did, the games would have been much different. _

"Well, now that the feds are gone, more questions, but first, I heard that Kirux has recently escaped from Rhino7's closet, which is kinda creepy if you ask me, but I don't have anything against her, she's funny.  
Well, I also thank anyone who was reading CrazySnakeLover's story who came here and took a look, i hear it got removed, and I really liked that story, Moment of silence people"

Moment of silence

"And now, I guess your wondering what5 happened after the Fangirls came out of the pit, so here is a little recap of what happened after last chapter."

_**Flashback**_

**_Shadow: "Ok, this is not cool, we already gave over Cloud and Leon S Kennedy, but they are still at it.  
So, any ideas for our next plan of attack?"_**

**_Ryuk: "well, we still have plenty of weapons, and ammo isn't that low really,"_**

**_Shadow: "yeah, but there are too many, we have the weapons, but not the manpower."_**

**_Tifa: "What did you say!?"_**

**_Shadow: "well, I didn't mean it like that, ok? I was just saying people in general, ya know?"_**

**_Tifa: "sorry"_**

**_Shadow: "I know what to do. First, Riku, Sora, Roxas, Namine, and Kairi will provide a distraction while the rest of us fire from the top of that hill, taking out large numbers of the enemy, and.."_**

**_Ryuk: "we also have nice weapons like DC-15 blaster rifles and Z-6 rotary blasters, along with other nice toys to help out with the groups quite nicely. Wait, what's up there?"_**

**_Shadow: "It's a squad of Jedi star fighters"._**

**_Starfighters land_**

**_Obi Wan Kenobi: "you called for assistance?"_**

**_Ryuk: "you called members of the JEDI ORDER ALSO!?"_**

**_Shadow: "Of course, never forget to have an ace in the hole, it's a major strategy in the field of battle. And also, they are only the first in my four aces. As for the strategy, do the Jedi agree?" _**

**_Yoda: "agree we do, this plan, happen, when it will?"_**

**_Shadow: "Immediately, and since you're here, I have another part of the plan to add, while those five are the main target of the Fan girls and boys, a trench will be dug right in front of them, where you will be attacking while they fall,"_**

**_Anakin: "Perfect plan, don't you agree, master?"_**

**_Obi wan: "of course."_**

**_30 minutes later _**

**_Shadow: Talking into radio "everyone ready?_**"

**_All: "affirmative"_**

**_Shadow: "Alright, 10.…..9.….8.…..7.……6.…….5.……4.……..3.…….2.……..1.….."_**

**_Ryuk: "FIRE!!"_**

**_blasters and rifles start firing_**

**_2 hours later_**

**_Shadow: "Finally, they're back where they belong."_**

_**End Flashback**_

"Well, now that that's outta the way, time for the reviews

Here is one from Jackattack555."

**Ryuk: GIVE ALL OF THE KH CHARACTERS DEATH NOTES! I'll give you APPLES if you do!**

**KH characters: Whom are each of you planning to kill first with your new Death Notes?**

Shadow: "unfortunately, he needs to make more death notes, but as to your second Question?"

Sora: "Riku"

Riku: "Sora"

Kairi: "Namine"

Namine': "Kairi"

Shadow: "OK, more on this later, but now, NEXT REVIEW.  
From Shara Sherenia, another Q&A flunky, no offense,"

**It's me again... on with the questions!**

**Roxas: How does it feel to be the Nobody of an idiot?**

**All: Now I know who is the 14th member's name!**

**The 14th member: Your voice is the same as Kairi and your hair is the same as Aqua,  
how'd does it feel?**

**Ryuk: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Xion(the 14th member): I respect you and...**

**AXEL: First Roxas and now her?! I hate you! :P**

Ryuk: "first, we all knew who she was, in fact?"

Xion: "hello"

Black Moon: "I figured she would be a blood thirsty banshee from the depths of the demon world."

Xion: go's crazy with red eyed blood lust and beats the tar out of Blackmoon with Sai's with the power of earth

Shadow: "I can go with dat."

Xion: "I didn't know that, I I can't feel emotion, just blackness of the eternal abyss, waiting to destroy all that humans revere."

Ryuk: she'd blend in with Emo's perfectly, (_ BTW, I'm not bagging on Emo people, so I will annihilate all that say otherwise, I accept people, no matter how they act_)

Xion: "I appreciate your feeling of respect for me."

Axel: laughs nervously "Ahhh, what, are you talking about?"

Roxas: whacks Axel with Oathkeeper

Ryuk: "charmed".

Roxas: "I know, it's a total bummer, but, I'm way cooler, so that's a plus."

"Ohhh wait, another review, From Yunie Tatlin, a newcomer I see, well, ya know what they say, never look a gift horse in the mouth."

**Hey, glad I could review, my new computer is being stupid so I'm on the old one now.  
So I have a favor to ask of you all, could you put Riku in dress? He would be so pretty! 3  
Also Leon, your gun blade is mine!  
As for the Fan girls the pit should have glass walls, the way when then try to climb out they'll fall!  
If you really want Kairi dead throw her in the fan girl pit, 90 of fan girls are Kairi haters! D  
Oh and even though Zack isn't in KH can you bring him in anyways? He's just awesome, and I'm sure he wants his sword back!  
Now for Sora HAHAHAH! Sora my only question, WHY ARE YOU SO FREAKIN' STUPID!? I HATE YOU! Well I think I hate you, I can't really decide!  
Let's see is there anything else? ... Axel is your hair really like that or did the back of your head explode? Or are you related to sonic the hedge hog? (I don't think I spell that right...)**

Shadow: "That sucks, I know. Now where were we, Ahhh yes, Riku, front and center."

Riku: "Like hell I will."

Shadow: "Well, if that how your gonna be, Ryuk?"

Ryuk: "Kairi, Namine, Tifa, Aerith, MAKEOVER TIME ! ! !"

Girls Mentioned: Fan girl-Like Squeal

Shadow: "Hate the squeal, but what comes next is truly worth it, and why stop at just a dress, Girls, Give him a makeover, he will never forget" Evil Smile

Riku: "wait, don't i get a say in this?"

Shadow/Ryuk/Blackmoon: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Shadow: "Girls, I'll leave you to business, Ryuk, Blackmoon, lets go, some Heineken awaits."

Ryuk/ Blackmoon: "there's nothing like Heineken."

20 minutes and several Heineken bottles later

Shadow: "Ahhh, that hit ze spot."

Ryuk: "Ahhh, Heineken, the best damn thing since Kairi bashing, and that's fun, just kidding people, or am I?"

Blackmoon: drunken stumbling

Ryuk/shadow: "Now that's a kid who can't hold his alcohol. Well ladies, how is it?

Kairi: "it's" giggling "very great."

Riku: dressed in Cinderella gown, with earrings, nails polished with pink nail polish, and glass slippers, with a girly wig

Shadow: Stares "he he, he he ha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!"

Ryuk: "that's funny."

Blackmoon: passed out

All: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Riku: changes to normal and take's out Way to the Dawn "That's it Shadow, prepare to DIE!!"

Shadow: takes out sword made of fire "Your on."

Ryuk: "Alright, since shadow is busy," chants demon Incantation

Zack: appears

Zack: "AHHHHH, wait, didn't I get shot?"

Ryuk: "actually, you did, but your alive again, it's a good thing you have fans."

Zack: "awesome, is Cloud here."

Cloud: "you call?"

Zack: "HI CLOUD, long time no see, still a n00b with the buster sword?"

Cloud: "Actually, this is my own, but yours was helpful, at least until it was shattered by Sephiroth. But, here is a brand new one." gives new buster sword

Zack: "I knew I could always count on you. Now, let get some sword training in, I want to see how you've been since I died."

Cloud: smirks "I accept your challenge, after we see the results of who wins, Shadow or Riku."

Zack: "I bet 5 bucks on the guy with the flame sword."

Ryuk: Behind betting pedestal with two different pools for the bidding "Place your bets everyone, place your bets."

30 minutes later

Ryuk: now, Sora, your question.

Sora: "My momma done dropped me on me head, and WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME??"

Ryuk: "that's something, only the people who hate you could possibly answer."

Axel: "to answer your question about my hair, it is a blend of sea salt, paopu fruit juice, red hair dye, and some Axe body spray."

Ryuk: Takes out lighter

Axel: "what are you doing?"

Ryuk: "just something a pyro would do." lights axel's hair on fire

Axel: "OWOWOWOWWOWOWOWOW. FIRE ! AHHHHH, it burns."

Ryuk: "come on, you use fire as a weapon."

Axel: "it still hurts."

Ryuk: "cry-baby". "Also" turns walls of fangirl pit into glass and throws in Kairi and she is ripped to shreds

"Well, thats all for now, Read and Review, and the results of the Riku/Shadow battle will be known, but for now, Goodbye." spinning kicks Zack into Fangirl pit

Zack: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	5. Chapter 5: Arrival of a Nobody

_Yello everybody, we know it's been rather crazy for awhile, so for a change of pace, we are going a little slower this time. JUST KIDDING!!, let the madness begin, and remember, I do not own the kingdom hearts characters the special addition this time, KIRUX, the nobody of Riku, because we all know who does. So lets start the show._

Shadow: "Merry Christmas, one and all. Just kidding, and I'm back, now, Ryuk, recap on the fight."

Ryuk: "OK." -Starts recap-

_**-Flashback-**_

**-Shadow and Riku fighting-**

**Riku: " I'm gonna kill you" -accidentally cuts off kairi's arm-**

**Shadow: "I'd love to see you try" -Cuts off kairi's head and cuts her in half-**

**Riku: "Dark blast!!"**

**Shadow: "Shadow charge" -turns into a shadow and Captures Riku in shadow shackles-**

**Riku: -cuts off chains with keyblade- " like shadows can defeat me"**

**Shadow: -pulls out photo's of him dressed as Micheal Jackson- "BEAT THAT!!"**

**Riku: -has heart attack-**

**Shadow: I WIN!!**

_**-End flashback-**_

Shadow: "Now, what have you learned?"

All: " not to act like Riku"

Shadow: "good, and on the topic of Riku, I will now perform an act familiar. Hence, an Ode to RHINO7". "Hyaaaaa!" -Stabs Riku with Dark keyblade and Kirux appears-

Kirux: "Whoa, Deja vu." ( _BTW, Rhino7 owns all rights to Riku's nobody_)

Blackmoon: "Ayyo!!"

Kirux: "AHHHHHHHH!!"

Shadow: "Ok, ok, no more of that, Now on with the reviews" Lets see, hmmmm, here's One." -stares intently, then reads name carefully, then passes out-

Ryuk: you ok? Well, lets read it, from Rhino7, hmm, ain't heard of her, though shadow must know something, but on with Ze review."

**Howdy hey there. This is off to a good start, although certain parts of it look familiar...eyes fan pits...hehe. I come armed with questions!  
Sora: I don't hate you! (huggles) What's your actual shoe size?  
Riku, Sora, and Kairi: If you could be any superhero, which one would you be?  
Axel: How do you feel about being compared to Reno of Final Fantasy VII all the time?  
(sigh) Yes, Kirux escaped. I was surprised to find that he had (unbeknownst to me) ended up in a few fics of other people who'd read my Q & A. So let me declare it! (climbs atop a mountain) Kirux is mine! All mine! Bwahahaha! Ahem...Here's a cake courtesy of Demyx. (gives cake) Later, taters!**

Shadow: Revives "WHOA! I never thought that miss rhino7 herself would grace my story with her presence, and for that, here is a special item. The Cosmic key. A special key that allows you to borrow any characters from the story, provided you state who at the end of a review from you, but can only stay until the next chapter after said review. And I was kinda inspired by your story to make this one."

Sora: "finally, someone who doesn't hate me with a passion. And it's Thirteen, it's kinda big, I know."

Riku: "Probably Daredevil"

Sora: "Definitely Batman"

Kairi: "WonderWoman"

Axel: "I despise it."

Shadow: "and thats why I have to be an arse and bring Said Reno here!

Reno: -comes out of liquor cabinet-

Shadow: whacks reno with baseball bat, "Why must you drink my booze, it gets very annoying here and your drinking of my alcohol doesn't improve matters. ( _BTW, I don't actually drink, if thats what everyone's wondering_)

Reno: -Hiccup- " sorry man, couldn't resist."

Ryuk: "Whatever"

Shadow/Ryuk/Blackmoon: "CAAAAAKE!!" -Each take a third and eat yummy cake-

Yuffie: "I WAN'T CAKE, GIVE ME CAKE!!"

Shadow: "Demyx, please make her some cakes, and put some in storage for later, ok

Demyx: Roger that.

Ryuk: good man.

Shadow: ok, next review, once again from Yunie Tatlin.

**Well, glad I could help with both the fan girls and Kairi (I don't hate her just so you know)**

Err, Sora you never answered my question, even so I'll answer yours

There are numerous reasons to hate you, 1, it's your fault Axel died(I almost cried) 2, your fault Demyx died, three your fault most orgy members died, four it's your fault Riku turned ugly for most of kh2, five your just stupid, six your annoying, seven your nobody is annoying, eight ... I'm running out of ideas but I know theres more, well whatever!

hmm, lets see I used most of my good ideas last time. Well Demy I have a question for you, how'd you get your hair like that and what do you call that hair style? (stupid question I know)

Well bye now!

P.S. Riku I'm sorry! I couldn't help myself!

Sora: "My mom was a klutz, she always dropped me on my head."

Blackmoon: "thats a lot of reasons for hating Sora, I likes it"

Demyx: "my somebody liked it, and if you don't already know, it's a mullet. And here is a cake, vanilla."

Shadow: "Ok, dats all from her, so lets see if there are any others, Ahhh yes, one from Dontmezwitme, that name is creative, kudos chum."

**Hey, Sora. Can you kiss Kairi already? O, same goes for you, Roxas and Namine. Axel, aren't u dead? you look a bit like Renji from Bleach. Except without the tattoos. Why are there Fan Boys? are they gay? P.S this is awesomes!**

Shadow: "the reason there are fan boys are that they think that the Male characters are awesome, and the girl characters, don't think too hard."

Shadow/Ryuk/Blackmoon: "thanks for your compliments."

Sora: "huh?"

Kairi: " well Sora?"

Namine: "well Roxas"

All: "come on, we know you want to."

-Sora and Kairi kiss-

-Roxas and Namine kiss-

Shadow: "lovey dovey momento, gonzo."

Axel: "I like bleach."

Renji: "ROAR, ZABIMARU." -attacks Axel with sword and he dies.-

Shadow: "and in another universe, millions of Axel Fangirls Curse you, so good job." Well I think there is another review here, give me a sec.

Ryuk: and while he's searching, lets see, I wonder why The usual spot gang hasn't arrived.

-Warehouse door opens, Hayner, Pence, and Ollete walk in-

Hayner: "whats up, Roxas, I'm getting back at you for the struggle match, but I'll wait awhile, we traveled quite far, and my muscles are rather sore" -Hayner sits on desk-

Shadow: "BOOOOYAAAA!!" -scares crap out of Hayner and he falls on face-

"Lets see, Ahhh yes, Shadowbrawler20."

**The brawler's back, Ready with questions. First, the little war thing against the Fangirls and boys was genius.**

Sora: how many people do you think hate you, because i have about 100 people that do.

Kairi: do you know why people hate you?

Riku: man, you suffering is so wrong, yet so right.

Axel: Which female character from kingdom hearts do you like?

Cloud: time for you and Zack to brawl.

And getting Rhino7 to review, major awesomeness.

From, Shadowbrawler20.

Shadow: "First off, Thank you man" – gives high five-

Sora: - dies-

Ryuk: "Whoa, tough crowd"

Kairi: why do people hate me? - starts to whimper-

Shadow: -Shoots Kairi with shotgun- "NO. CRYING. EVER."

Kairi: "I'm OK, RAAWWWWWWWWRRR!!" -attacks shadow.-

Shadow: -attacks Kairi, both knock each other out.-

Ryuk: Kairi grew a back bone, OKAY?

Riku: -steaming mad-

Axel: Tifa

Tifa: -Smacks Axel- Pervert.

Ryuk: OOOOOOOOH, you got Pwn'd boy.

Cloud/Zack: Next Chapter, we still need to settle some things first. - throwing paper footballs at each other

Ryuk: "OK everyone, since Shadow is Incapacitated right now, I'll end the chappy.

So Read, review, and bow down to the utter sweetness of the crazy, the crazy beckons you to cause pain and suffering. So bye bye for now" - suddenly appears on mountain and causes avalanche, riding down it on snowboard-


	6. Chapter 6: Two Ryuks, or Too Many Ryuks?

_Yello everybody, waz up. remember, Kirux is owned by Rhino7, KH belongs to Tetsuya Nomura and Square Enix_.

**Chapter 6: Two Ryuks? Or Too Many Ryuks?**

Hi guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I was waiting for some reviews to pour in. Anyways, time to start the funniness.

Shadow: Hey guys, do you know why we're here today in Tijuana, Mexico?

Blackmoon: Because the cops came back, and brought the army, and evil storm troopers so...

Shadow: -places hands over Blackmoon's mouth as he's talking- We don't need anyone knowing about that, remember, we'd taken an oath to never discuss or sing or tell anyone about it in any way.

Ryuk: Good thing we grabbed those enchiladas. -opens bag, and see envelopes- Oh $H1+.

Shadow: What?

Ryuk: We only have the reviews, no enchiladas.

Shadow: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ryuk: Dude?

Shadow: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ryuk: Dude!

Shadow: KHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ryuk: -Smacks Shadow-

Shadow: Ow! But I'm ok now -grabs bag of reviews

Ryuk: *Cuts Kairi's head off with new soul cutter* "Kokuryuu"............."Ban Kai"

Blackmoon: "Oh $H1+, This is gonna be good.

Shadow: I see Ryuk is kinda mad today

Ryuk: "Split Kokuryuu: 9th Flame"

*Flame erupts surrounding both Ryuk and Kairi

Shadow: Hey, watch it, I got the reviews here

Ryuk: whoops, sorry. - grabs Kairi's head and slams it into ground and burns the body

Sora: WHYYYYYYY!!! -SMACK

Shadow: Enough already, I already used the scream of pissed offness today. Ryuk, you read the first one *hands Ryuk review*

Ryuk: Our first review for today is from Jackattack555

**(hands a million Death Notes to Ryuk) Now do it! Give every KH character a Death Note! This is going to be interesting...**

Shadow: Ryuk, if you please?

Ryuk: With pleasure** -**gives all KH characters Death Notes-

All but authors and Jackattack555, who watch expectantly: -furiously write down names in death notes- -all KH characters die-

Ryuk: Ahh, the smell of death in the morning, a smell reserved for the gods, or in my case, Death gods.

Shadow: Yeah, but now we have no story, except beating the living crap outta people we don't remotely know.

- all KH characters revive, and Light and Ryuk from Death Note burn all but three Death Notes, which are taken by the three authors-

Ryuk: Strange, I figured that he was just a figment of our imaginations, but i clearly saw another Ryuk.

Anime Ryuk: Why must you have the same name as me, poser.

Ryuk: Oh, poser. Look who's talking B!+cH! -starts fighting with Anime Ryuk-

Shadow: Blackmoon, still got that camera, i want this fight seen on Pay-per-view.

Blackmoon: here we go. -points camera towards fight scene, hit by flying rock-

Shadow: Crap - does flying dive roll and catches camera. Gives camera to Cloud and Zack- here, keep an eye out on the fight, and you each get ten percent.

Cloud/Zack: kick $$

Shadow: Anyway, next review, from Shadowbrawler20.

**HAHAHAHAHAHA, major Funnyness, and armed with Questions I am.**

Axel: What's with the triangles under your eyes?

Sora: I wonder why you are so crazy like you are, did you drink too many Full throttles. also, have you ever thought that everything was just a dream and you were just going crazy or something?

Riku: ever play Tennis?

Kairi: OMG, -kicks Kairi into Fan Boy pit and she is gone-

Also, I have to see your nobodies, * stabs Shadow, Ryuk, and blackmoon with Dark keyblade and their Nobodies Appear*

Have Fun.

Ryxik=Ryuk

Daxso=Shadow

Nox=Blackmoon

Shadow: Wow, I figured they would be different, but you know what they say, the more the merrier.

Nox: I need twenty vials of sulfuric acid, ten cc's of gunpowder, and a oz. of lighter fluid.

Ryxik: -Wonders why his somebody is fighting Ryuk. Grabs huge sword, and joins fight with his other-

Daxso/Shadow: -Standing there, as explosions and debris occur everywhere-

Shadow: wow, i never knew that three Ryuk's, and a supers smart Blackmoon could cause this much damage.

Ryuk: -Sends Anime Ryuk to hell, and walks back over with his nobody- I Think I can get used to this guys.

Shadow: Well, since the explosions have stopped, lets answer the rest of shadowbrawler20's questions.

Sora: NO, why do you ask? - hides giant pile of Full throttles behind his back- and at first, yeah. i just thought I'd been hit by a coconut,which 'd knocked me out. at least until the Heartless started attacking in Transverse town.

Kairi: -completely scarred for life as she falls in-

Shadow: wow, first time that someone didn't scream when they fall inside one of those pits.

Ryuk: True, and lets see, next review's from Aitheheartlessgirl

**That question you thought it was from Shara Sherenia, that was me! I forgot to add my name after I logged off! Sorry!  
anyway,  
Can I request a song? Larxene, please sing the song "10 words" by Koda Kumi Here's the lyrics:  
Kimi no kotoba wa  
Yume no yasashisa kana?  
USO wo zenbu  
Oikakushiteru  
ZURUI yo ne**

Tabidatsu kimi ni  
Sameta senaka misete  
Kiiteita yo  
Hitori tatakau no?  
ZURUI yo ne

"Kaettekuru kara"  
Oikoshiteyuku kimi no koe  
Iji hatte  
Tsuyoi FURI  
Toki wo modoshite  
Sakebeba yokatta?  
Ikanai de to namida koboshitara?  
Ima wa dekiru  
Donna koto mo

Ienakatta  
10 no kotoba wo  
Haruka na  
Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo  
Tsubasa ni kaete

Ienakatta  
10 no kotoba wa  
Kizutsuita  
kimi no senaka ni yorisoi  
dakishimeru

Yume no tsuduki wa  
Kimi wo omoinagara  
Ano hi no koto  
Wasureta furishite  
ZURUI yo ne

"Tegami wo kaku kara"  
Shisen sorashita kimi no koe  
iji hatte  
Tsuyoi FURI  
Toki wo modoshite  
Okoreba yokatta?  
Matenai yo to kata wo otoshitara?  
Ima wa dekiru  
Donna koto mo

Kikoeteru?  
10 no kotoba wo  
Mienai  
Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo  
Tsubasa ni kaete

Kikoeteru?  
10 no kotoba wa  
Tsukareta  
Kimi no senaka ni yorisoi  
Dakishimeru

Ienakatta  
10 no kotoba wo  
Lalalala..  
Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo  
Tsubaksa ni kaete

Kikoeteru?  
10 no kotoba wa  
Lalalala..  
Kimi no senaka ni yorisoi  
Lalalalala...

To the questions.  
Larxene: Thank you for singing the song!  
Axel: I hate you...And I took a FF-VII personality test acting like you and I got Reno! weird, huh?  
Ryuk: Thank you for keeping Ai company! -gives Nude Roxas plushie- And are you still going to show up in the Kingdom Hearts Edition?  
Roxas: Good Luck for escaping the Organization! -gives nude Axel plushie- Why did you kill Axel again? I've only read the manga.  
Luxord: Have you been to Las Vegas? Or Monaco?  
All: Have you watched High School Musical 1-3 and Mamma Mia? They're both musicals. Why? I'm having a hard time which roles are you all going to play.

Larxene: NO!!!!! NEVER!!!!

Ryuk: I'm gonna through you into the Fan boy pit if you don't!

Larxene: Ok, i will

Shadow: But we'll leave that for the next chapter.

Axel: Yeah, which is exactly why I don't like you.

-Smack-

Shadow: From now on, anyone criticizing guest without good reason get hit with this wax pole, as a warning, and after, I leave the punishments to Ryuk.

Axel: Now he tells us. - rubs head in pain.

Ryuk: Very Disturbing. -Throws plushie at Axel-

Roxas: Eh, escaping the organization isn't the problem, escaping Shadow and Company, that's another story.

-Roxas and Axel stare at each other, then burn both Plushie's-

Roxas/Axel: Sorry about burning them, but they were rather disturbing, no offense of course.

Ryuk: Yeah, just thinking of what to do for it at the moment.

Luxord: No baby, but maybe "hiccup" me and you can have some fun.

Shadow: -Whacks Luxord with waz pole over his head-

All: Nope

Shadow: also, you never answered Shadowbrawler20's question about why you got those triangles under your eye.

Axel: I went to a tattoo artist, and they were only doing them in green, so I took it, and here we go.

Shadow: What color did you want them to be?

Axel: Red, to match the hair.

Blackmoon/Nox: Of course that's why.

Axel: what're you implying

Shadow: -lying- Nothing, nothing.

_Authors: Well, that's all everyone, so we'll see you later!_

Ryuk: Kokuryuu..... Ban Kai.... 7th Flame: Dark Slumber Blaze!

_More Next Tiime!_


End file.
